Yeah screw that I’m not going to class.

This hurts too much.  I can’t even imagine putting on a pair of jeans (which is all I have washed) and trying to sit still through 2 hours of boring math notes.  I have to work on my homework today though.  And really really focus on learning it/doing well rather than just breezing through.  We have a test on Thursday and I have to get at least a B.  I’m also going to work on my blog, I’m sick of the theme. 


I feel really negative today and it’s not good -_- My abdominal pain from my period just sucks and I’m so uncomfortable I don’t wanna move.  I have tons of math homework and studying to do, plus I have class in a few hours.  My rooms a mess, cars a mess, I look a mess.. I have no tampons and don’t feel like going to the store to buy them.  I’m worried about my grades being so bad and that my parents are going to find out I dropped that class soon.  I feel worthless and ugly and fat.  I don’t feel good enough for anyone or anything and I don’t know how to get off my lazy ass and start fixing all of that.  Ugh. I just need to quit complaining and push through today.  Maybe once this pain is gone I’ll be in a little better of a mood

I hate my hair. I hate my skin. I hate my eyebrows. I hate my eyes. I hate my cheeks. I hate my nose. I hate my lips. I hate my teeth. I hate my chin. I hate my neck. I hate my ears. I hate my shoulders. I hate my chest. I hate my arms. I hate my elbows. I hate my wrists. I hate my hands. I hate my boobs. I hate my ribs. I hate my stomach. I hate my sides. I hate my hips. I hate my butt. I hate my thighs. I hate my knees. I hate my shins. I hate my calves. I hate my ankles. I hate my feet. I hate myself.

(Source: skeletonized)

I got my period last night and it is the WORST one I’ve ever had.  About an hour after it started I got these horrible constipated-ish stomach pains that lasted for hours until I was finally able to fall asleep.  I feel a little better now but it still hurts and it’s getting really fucking annoying.  In other news, the other night when I hung out with C we had sex. 3 times.  It wasn’t very good sex because he’s rather inexperienced and came fast each time.  But I don’t really care, he can only get better lol.  Since we were drunk and it was dark I was able to manage hiding my cuts and scars.  I also found out that he’s apparently had a crush on me for a very long time, which I find really unbelievable and cute.  I mean, I knew he was trying to hang out with me for a while but I just assumed like I always do that he was just bored or something/looking for sex.  Because why in the fuck would anyone ever like me?  It won’t last.  Well I’m going to go make myself a healthy breakfast of wheat toast and eggs then get ready for class.  

I’m going to lose him too

Why the fuck am I even bothering? Seriously. I’m just setting myself up to be hurt and it’s stupid.